The Official Weigh-In

I am getting ready to go on vacation in a month, yes one that does not involve racing, and my body is not really ready for it. I am sporting the prototypical farmer’s tan, although it is not as wicked as normal because I have not been autocrossing. I can still bring down a low-flying plane if I take my shirt off, however. But, that is not so much what I am referring to. I am instead referring to the flabtacular region that is known as my midriff.

Earlier this year, knowing I was going to be spending days on the beach, I decided to really attack the battle of the bulge. Ok, the thought truly went into my head at the doctor when my weight nearly had a 7 in it, as neither the first nor the last digit. I began a regimen of “Michael-working out”, which entailed doing anything except going to the gym. This was doing things at home, on demand workouts, playing racquetball, etc. I also (barely) watched what I ate. But, results were hard to track as I possessed no weight measuring device. Ergo, I sucked it up and dropped some coin on a lovely scale from Target (that conveniently was on sale). I spent a week or so measuring myself multiple times per day until my Engineer instinct kicked in and propelled me to the computer to create a spreadsheet.

I have since then weighed myself every day, at the same time, wearing the same thing (or not wearing for statistical accuracy), with the scale on the same spot of the floor. I did a gauge repeatibility and reproducibility study to show that it was accurate enough. I did not know what this spreadsheet was going to prove, but I knew I was going to do it right and hit it hard. After receiving much flak early in the data collection phase, I modified the Michael work out. Yeah – I stopped doing it. I still stubbornly contend that despite my ever advancing age that I can control my weight simply by watching not what I eat, just simply how much and when. So I have been eating all the same crap – I just try to eat smaller meals and not right before bed. And my only workouts now come from my renewed vigor in the game of tennis which I have been playing 2x per week since the weather got nice.

Since the suspense probably has you wearing out the front edge of your computer chair, let’s get to the numbers. My starting weight was 160.2 pounds. Egad!!! But, be mindful of the fact that this was already five pounds under my true starting weight. Today marked my 153rd day of recording. My average over that time is only about 1.3 pounds under my starting weight. This does not sound like a lot, but I have not gotten to my starting weight in exactly 2 months. And, over those 2 months I have averaged another full 2.5 pounds lower. My lowest weight is actually today, where I started the day off 7.4 pounds under, with my worst day of the stretch being 3.4 pounds over. A standard daily fluctuation is a whopping 2.2 pounds. This is most strange, because I find that at least once a week I weigh the same exact thing for 2 or 3 straight days. Ideally, I would like to get a few pounds more and then maintain it there. What does this all show?
Nothing really, because despite being double digits lighter there is no tone to anything between my ribs and pelvis. I should probably get to work on some situps. Or not.

Aerobically yours,
-Michael

3 thoughts on “The Official Weigh-In

  1. Cut out the High Fructose Corn Syrup, and I guarantee you’ll see less goo in the middle, and more definition. Mr. Clarateaches didn’t believe me about HFCS until I showed him a site detailing how they manufactured the crap, and it scared him straight. Darned if I can find the page now.

    And, I was going to tell you what I weighed 4 days before giving birth, but I decided it would be counterproductive to your endeavor. 😛

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  2. Yeah – I don’t watch what I eat too much. But, I have noticed a difference on days that I don’t drink soda. I have cut my soda consumption in about half, so that is good…

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  3. Ah, brother in arms!
    Not only are we of the most pasty of colors, we could safely cushion a tumble.

    I know what will cheer you up… after years of denial, I hopped on the Weight Watchers scale and died a little inside when I realized I weighed more then Steve.
    By like 14 pounds.

    Now I weigh less (though I will not say how much less, though I wish he would have lied when he told the nurses how much he clocks in at), I have conceded that my “crochet” tankini bottom will not accommodate my love handled hips and have decided to purchase an alternate bottom.

    Oh, and there are some superb self-tanners on the market… I plan on procuring some as well as I would prefer people not to shout “Beached Dolphin!” and throw water on me.

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