Little Creatures

This weekend was a diverse one. It started out by being informed that my niece had a bouncing baby boy. I am now officially a great uncle. I then got to the Tigers game Friday night and followed it up with some mini-golf on Saturday. Sunday was spent taking a car that ran perfectly well beforehand and managing to make it develop a lovely miss.

There was a theme present through most of those, namely children. The Tigers game was loaded with the little devils as it was fireworks night. They look even smaller when sitting in the third row from the top, actually strangely like a catcher’s mitt. I managed to avoid stepping on any, so I considered it a moral victory. The same was true at the mini-golf course, although I didn’t exactly endear myself to the parents in the group ahead of us after an expletive laden rant that followed a four putt. I was prepared for the runts at least at the mini-golf course, and was even patient with them as they held up our group. On the way to the links, we passed a number of farms that contained sheep, horses, and cows. This greatly pleased the city slicker penning this blog, and I pulled over to get a closer look. (*note – evidently there are appendages on the rear of the cow that make it obvious it is a male, even more so than the horns I was looking for).
Anyway, I was giddy to see all the animals, and it got me thinking.

I like animals, but I hate children. Do not get me wrong, I am indebted to those who want to reproduce, as it continues our race. And I understand why people have the desire to procreate, and I have no problem with parents. But, the gene must have skipped me, because I would rather care for an animal as they actually amuse me. It also leads to me creating “Michael’s Animal Ranking Scale.” This is the order, from most to least, that I like some types of animals. Sadly, I am only allergic to animals and not babies.

Pig (so cuddly!)
Dog (large)(St. Bernard for example)
Human (adult) (although this ranking is subjective depending on individual)
Cow (cute to me for some reason)
Dog (medium)
Rabbit (hmm – there seems to be a cuddly theme here)
Horse
Duck/Goose
Turtle
Sheep
Fish
Cat (good thing this isn’t a uselessness scale)
Hamster
Human (child)
Chicken
Bird (pet)
Dog (small) (if it fits in your purse remember that it is also very kickable)
Snake
Insect

Zoologically yours,
-Michael

3 thoughts on “Little Creatures

  1. Technically speaking, John is correct. A “cow” is a female bovine. A bull is a male bovine. Although both male and female bovine can have horns depending on their breed.

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