Drive to Sunoco and turn way to the right

I posted awhile back about my migration into “oldpersonville”, and how many of the signs were yet absent. But, I continue with one of them. I have begun watching the news on a daily basis. I used to when I was younger, but got tired of being depressed. After all, when your media outlet growing up is NYC, there tend to be a fair number of stories on fires, murders, rapes, etc. In fact, it was so bad that they stopped doing all the news up front and eventually broke it into segments. So, the teleprompter cycle would look something like this: Murder, murder, rape, injured child, weather, fire, bad car accident, murder, sports, embezzlement trial, armed robbery.

Detroit is a little different. On most nights there is one or two “bad” leads, but not enough to clog the entire newscast (believe it or not). In fact, some nights they really struggle for anything of substance, which brings me to last night. I turn on the TV while I finish eating my Ramen noodles and reading my Area Auto Racing News when I see a bunch of people huddling around a gas pump. And yes, they were praying in front of the gas pump, praying for lower prices. Evidently, this band of morons travels to gas stations around the country, buys a bit of gas, and prays while they are there. Unfortunately, given the slow news cycle last night, they stuck a microphone in front of these blithering idiots where we got to hear how “it has worked to lower prices in some places, we have seen them come down after we pray.” No it hasn’t! You and your band of merry closed-minded dolts do not have any effect on whether Mr. Gasstationowner can get his juice
any cheaper. What, do you think that God has smited us with higher prices because not enough people think of Him while they are filling their tank? We have people dying of cancer or AIDS every day and you are praying for gas prices to go down, while you drive around the country? There are better ways to spread the Word, even if this stupid stunt gets you some airtime on local news affiliates.

Although, it did make me think of the bumper sticker I saw yesterday that said “I’m doing everything I can to piss off the religious right.” That is brilliant. I was laughing so hard I was practically in tears. But the more I laughed the more lightning bolts I had to dodge. Maybe I do need to pray at a gas station.

Always Your servant,
-Michael

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