Entrapment is only good when Catherine Zeta-Jones is involved

Well, happy freakin’ 2007. Another year has gone by, and I have seemingly managed to become even less productive than in the past. I set a minimalist goal for what I want to get accomplished, and it looks like the 07 will require the bar to be lowered even further.

And, here, on a completely unrelated note, is today’s topic – the “War of the Roses” that is held on a local radio station. It is a weekly or bi-weekly (who the hell knows) feature that they have. Presented below for your consumption is what happens in a somewhat accurate chronology, and without a narrative bias (hi MSNBC!).

– Some poor spineless woman calls in to the station to regale the listeners about how she thinks her significant other is cheating on her, rather than actually talking to him. Usually the reasons are somewhat innocuous, unlike the reasoning on Cheaters. Although I do enjoy watching the latter, especially comments like “Well, I found a pair of panties three sizes smaller than mine wedged in the seat of his pickup truck. I think he may be cheating on me, so I have to enlist the help of a private investigator and have my personal troubles broadcast in syndication nationwide.” – The hosts throw her a pity party. – One of the hosts calls the potential cheater and pretends to be this chipper customer rep doing a customer survey representing rosesbloom.com. Is this even a real website? I am afraid to look for fear it is one of ill repute. I would like to think that the station is smart enough to research that ahead of time, but after hearing the absolute mindless idiots they hire as DJ’s, I am not so sure. – Holly McKindlySpeak offers the respondent a dozen free roses if he finishes the survey. – Holly finishes the two question survey and then asks for the name and address of where he would like the flowers sent, leaving just enough rope for him to hang himself. – The spineless woman calls her now ex-mate a bastard.

There are so many inherent issues with this:

– A two question survey gets a dozen roses? C’mon, I have a bridge to sell you. – Almost every time they call a cell phone – not too many telemarketers call a cell phone. – And what telemarketer calls at the buttcrack of dawn? I thought the segments were pre-recorded, but one the other week leads me to believe it is live given that they were worried about calling the beau – because it was 6am!!! – Last, but not least, it is ENTRAPMENT! I defy anyone to provide me a cogent argument defending this whole procedure. They are essentially trying to mislead the significant other into saying something he shouldn’t. While I cannot condone cheating, how is deceitful trickery any better??? And even if he sends them to his mate, it undermines whatever trust was left in the relationship because he is either justifiably irate that this just happened to him (like anyone losing an Oscar to Hilary Swank), or her doubts are still there and she just continues to prod him and eventually tells him why she doesn’t believe him.

But here is the main problem. I despise it but it is impossible to change the station. It goes against every moral fibre in my body and yet I have to listen to it. I want to liken it to the old train wreck clich?, but I feel it is different and yet I don’t know why. It obviously pulls ratings, in another sad display of our societal “moral compass” (as the “crude” and “slovenly” Ms. Rosie O Donnell might say).

Done. I can’t write anymore while foaming at the mouth. -Michael

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